The Campaign Diary of Robert Kenyon Aged 41 and Three-Quarters (as imagined by John Crace)

What’s Carol Vorderman moaning about? All I said was how fit she was … must be going through the menopause or somethingAnother sweltering sub-Saharan summer’s day in late spring. If this is global warming, I say: “Bring it on.” I go outside to the van, turn on the engine and leave it running. This is the kind of day you want to burn as many fossil fuels as possible. Back indoors, I turn on the radio where Tony Blair is talking. There’s a politician who talks sense.Bollocks to net zero. That’s what I say. It stands to reason. I mean,